Ross Palethorpe Counselling

Ross, a white man, looks at the camera. He has short brown hair and beard, and is smiling. He's wearing a green t-shirt and glasses.

Ross Palethorpe

Counsellor

Kia ora! Kō Ross tōku ingoa.

I live in Ōamaru, North Otago. I am Pākēha and arrived in Aotearoa in 2009. My pronouns are he/him.

I am an experienced counsellor and professional development facilitator. My background is in education, with over fifteen years of experience as a secondary school teacher, and as a senior education advisor for the Ministry of Education. I moved into mental health work in 2019 and retrained as a counsellor. I am a full member of the New Zealand Association of Counsellors (#99587) and a registered ACC Sensitive Claims provider. I am accredited with Te Whatu Ora (Health New Zealand). I work full-time in private practice, and contract to the organisations listed below.

I am trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS), trauma-focused Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (TfACT), Motivational Interviewing (MI), and work within the structured trauma therapy model. My professional focus is trauma therapy, bereavement counselling, and solutions-focused brief intervention for EAP (Employee Assistance Programs). I am also available for onsite support, mediation and disputes resolution, and consulting work. I work with adults and adolescents (15+)

I have appeared in numerous publications discussing mental health, education, and gender.

Winter 2025: I currently have no capacity for new clients

A photo of Ross at the summit of Mt Fyffe. He's wearing dark pants and t-shirt, and a red cap. He's smiling at the camera and trying not to show how tired he is!

Mihi

Tēnā koutou kua huihui mai nei
Nō Kotiana ahau
I tipu ake au ki Renfrewshire
E noho ana au ki Ōamaru
Ko Ross tōku ingoa
Ko tēnei taku mihi ki ngā tāngata whenua o te rohe nei
Nō reira, tēnā koutou katoa

Video introduction

Modalities

I am trained in a number of different counselling modalities (strategies) and regularly participate in professional learning and development. I will often work with the client to find the right approach for their needs, and use a pluralistic approach where a number of types of counselling are used together to provide the best service for the client. The main strategies I use with clients are outlined below.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a specific treatment plan that follows a structured approach.

If you are seeking a specific type of counselling, please indicate this when contacting me.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a very structured form of therapy that addresses symptoms of trauma and distress. It is regarded as a highly effective form of therapy for PTSD symptoms as well as anxiety issues.

I have completed L1 EMDR training with Vania Miteva and will have completed L2A and 2B by December 2025. I receive regular supervision from an EMDR accredited practitioner and I am an associate member of EMDRAA.

For more information on EMDR, the EMDR Association of Australia has more information here

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) allows the client to explore the various “parts” of ourselves that make up each individual. If you’ve ever wondered why you have that little voice that always reaches for chocolates when you’re stressed, or that part of you that overreacts to your boss, IFS can help you understand what those parts are trying to do and how to manage them.

I have completed professional training in IFS and Somatic Embodiment through Concinnity and receive regular supervision from an IFS accredited trainer and practitioner.

For more information on IFS from a client’s perspective, this article by Grainne Paterson is a good start

Motivational Interviewing (MI)

Motivational Interviewing (MI) is a brief intervention process to support clients to consider making changes to their lives. It helps the client to consider their motivations for change, the barriers that may be preventing this, and how to move forward with support from their community.

I have completed training in Motivational Interviewing through Wharaurau and use it regularly with clients.

Check out this resource for more information on the Motivational Interviewing process.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a type of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy that helps the client to understand how their underlying beliefs and self-talk influence their behaviours and actions. By understanding this link, clients can make strategies to support actions and behaviours that are more in line with how they want to live.

I have trained with Russ Harris in trauma-focused ACT and use it regularly with clients, and meet regularly with a supervisor who is trained in this modality.

Have a look at some more information on ACT and how it works here

Therapeutic Artwork

Whilst my main areas of practice are in talk therapy and EMDR, I also have art supplies in my office in Ōamaru for clients to use in session. You are welcome to draw, scribble, or paint in our sessions if this is valuable to you and I have a range of books and resources in my office to provide inspiration and guidance. You don’t need to ask to use these, help yourself!

ADHD Diagnosis Pathways for adults

ADHD (Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder) is one of the most common neurological disorders, with an estimated 5% of the population experiencing symptoms. As a counsellor, I am unable to diagnose ADHD, but it is something that I am regularly asked about. To help, I’ve compiled this list of frequently asked questions and some resources to help anyone thinking of exploring a diagnosis in Aotearoa New Zealand. Much of the information here is from the ADHD NZ website, which I recommend as a useful resource.

Please note that this is for general information only. I have included links wherever possible, any information at those websites is the responsibility of the author. I accept no responsibility for inaccurate or out-of-date information elsewhere.

What is ADHD?

ADHD is a neurological disorder that affects the brain’s ability to control impulses, filter information, and manage tasks. Some cases of ADHD are diagnosed in childhood, but many people do not have their symptoms recognised until well into adulthood. Many adults with ADHD find strategies and coping mechanisms for their symptoms that can become less effective as life becomes more complex. Further information is available here

How do I know if I have ADHD?

There is a lot more information out there now about ADHD, which is helping people understand more about their symptoms and to question if they have ADHD and want a diagnosis. ADHD symptoms have similarities with symptoms of trauma, anxiety and other issues. A formal diagnosis can help you understand if your symptoms are ADHD, or something else that can be supported through other forms of therapy or medication. ADHD NZ have a helpful self-screener tool here

I think I have ADHD, what can I do?

If you would like to have a formal diagnosis, you can talk to your GP about being referred to a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist through the public health system. There is high demand for this service throughout the country, and you may have to wait for some time to be seen. There are also a number of private pathways to diagnosis which can be quicker if you are able to fund this yourself. Currently (September 2025) diagnosis can be done by a clinical psychologist, but any medication must be initially prescribed by a psychiatrist.

Are GPs and nurse practitioners able to diagnose and prescribe medication for ADHD?

Earlier in 2025, the government announced that GPs and nurse practitioners would be able to diagnose ADHD and prescribe medication for symptoms from February 2026. However, this may take time to implement across the country and be dependent on your GP.

What happens during a diagnosis?

The diagnostic process may vary between suppliers, and most suppliers will have a guide to their process on their website. Generally, the process takes place over several stages. The client will fill out some diagnostic forms to help the practitioner understand the symptoms the client is experiencing. The client will also be asked to provide evidence that they have had these symptoms from childhood. This may involve a parent or family member providing information, school reports etc. There is then an assessment with the practitioner where more information is provided, and a diagnosis is made. If the practitioner is not a psychiatrist, there may then be a referral to a psychiatrist to discuss a medication treatment plan. Many private clinics also offer ADHD counselling and/or coaching to support the client to understand their symptoms and diagnosis, manage symptoms etc.

I think I have ADHD, but I worry that it might be something else

This is a very common issue! If you have a lot of the symptoms of ADHD, then I encourage you to explore a diagnosis and support options. Even if you do not meet the clinical threshold for a diagnosis, or your practitioner feels your symptoms are caused by something else, then you will have information about next steps and a pathway forward.

Where can I get a diagnosis privately?

There are a number of private practices that offer ADHD diagnosis and medication support. ADHD NZ has a directory of support that can help you find an organisation near you, and many suppliers will offer telehealth. Your GP can also help you with a referral.

Can you suggest any private clinics?

I have had some professional interaction with the following clinics. There may be others who offer similar services, have a look around and see which ones feel like a good fit for your needs!

I offer ACC Sensitive Claims counselling through The Nelson Clinic, who also offer ADHD diagnosis and medication consultation. Details can be found here

A Change For Better offer a range of psychological assessments, and may be able to offer lower-cost support through their ACFB Fund.

Beehyve offer an online pre-assessment that an help you make a decision about pursuing a formal diagnosis, as well as diagnosis and support.

A cosy room with plants on the windowsill. There's a big colourful rug on the floor, a blue sofa, a maroon chair and a book case. There's lots of art on the walls.

Practice Room

I am available to see clients in person in my practice space in Ōamaru. There is a small step to get into the building off the street. There is free parking either on-street or in a nearby carpark. Public toilet facilities are across the street and there are numerous cafes and other amenities. The room has heating and a HEPA filter.

On Wednesdays I see clients in Waimate and Timaru, please contact for details.

Frequently Asked Questions

Counselling can seem expensive, complicated and even intimidating. Here are some of the questions I’m asked most often.

If there’s a question you’d like to ask that’s not answered here, or you’d like more information on something I’ve answered here, feel free to contact me directly.

Can you see me urgently?

I am not a crisis service, or able to see clients within a specified timeframe. If you need to talk to someone urgently, 1737 is a free counselling service available 24/7 by phone and text. If you are in danger please call 111 and ask for an ambulance.

I cannot guarantee that emails, texts of phone calls will be answered out of hours. In office hours I am often uncontactable as I am with clients.

Why do you not operate a waitlist?

I do not operate a waitlist because I feel that this is unfair for the client. I cannot always give a timeframe for when I will have availability, and if a client is on a waitlist this may prevent them from accessing support sooner with a different practitioner. If you would like to work with me and I do not have availability at that time, you are welcome to follow up with me until I have a space that suits you.

Do you work with children?

Whilst I have offered counselling to children and young people in the past, my training and professional focus is on older adolescents and adults. Counselling children, especially trauma counselling, is a specialist form of support that is out of my professional scope.

Do you see clients privately?

At the moment I am not accepting new clients who are self-funded.

Why is counselling so expensive?

A great question! The cost of counselling can seem pretty high. The cost of a session includes the time spent directly with me, note-writing after the session (a legal requirement), planning for future sessions, background reading and professional development that I may need to do to provide you with the best support possible, business overheads and professional registration, and my own regular external sessions with qualified supervisors. I limit the number of clients I see in a week so that I am able to provide the best possible service to clients.

What if we’re not a good fit?

Beginning to work with a counsellor can be difficult. I offer a free 15-minute online or phone introductory session which will not include therapeutic counselling but give us the opportunity to meet and get to know each other so you can make sure I feel like the right counsellor for you. If we’re not, that’s fine! I’m happy to refer you on to someone else who might better meet your needs.

What if I see you in public?

I live and work in Ōamaru, a small and close-knit community. I do not discuss my clients with anyone outside of supervision. If you see me in public, you are welcome to initiate contact with me but I will not disclose how I know you or initiate contact with you. If I seem offhand with you outside of our sessions, please don’t take it personally. My main aim is to maintain your privacy and keep our working relationship safe.

What are your values?

I am a strong believer that everyone is the expert in their own life. My role is give you the space to explore your experiences and offer a fresh perspective on things that are distressing you. I am queer, sex and body positive, neurodivergent and work on being as culturally safe as I can be. I strive to uphold Te Tiriti wherever possible and recognise the importance of society and culture on mental health and wellbeing.

What’s your accessibility policy?

I am happy to work with you to make counselling accessible, and welcome enquiries from clients on how to make sessions work for you. You are welcome to bring a support person or interpreter to sessions, however please let me know beforehand. You are also welcome to bring a fidget toy, comfort item, or other stimming object that will help you in the session. Vaping and smoking are not permitted in my physical practice space though you are welcome to if we are working remotely. If you would like me to not engage in eye contact, or sit in a certain space, you are welcome to request this. I do not wear any strong aftershave or similar.

I am fully vaccinated, including regular boosters for Covid-19. I take RAT tests regularly and I am happy to do one on request before in person sessions. I have surgical masks and hand sanitiser available, and I am happy to wear a mask. I have a HEPA filter in the space.

If we are working remotely you are welcome to have your camera on or off, and request the same from me. If you need to move around in the session, or take a break, these can also be accommodated. I also offer text-based counselling over Signal.

I use Cliniko for remote sessions, however if you require closed captions we can use Google Meet. You are welcome to record our sessions (please let me know first!), take notes, or whatever else will help you get the most out of our work together.

Client Safety and Professional Vetting

I am a member of the New Zealand Association of Counsellors, and follow the NZAC Code of Ethics, which prioritises client safety and confidentiality. I keep all client notes offline, and in a locked cabinet that only I have access to.

My practice space is secluded and private. If I am working with a young person under the age of 16, a parent of caregiver must remain nearby for the duration of the session.

For remote video clients, I use Cliniko as this offers a secure connection and a range of accessibility options. For text-based clients I use Signal, which is encrypted.

I am police vetted and hold a VCA Core Worker’s certificate, meaning I have been cleared to work with children. I carry professional indemnity insurance.

Do you see clients in the evenings/weekends?

The majority of my work is done between 9 and 4pm. I value time with my family and try to keep working outside of school hours to a minimum. If you would really like to work with me but need support outside office hours, get in touch via email to discuss.

What kind of counselling do you do?

I am a Rogerian therapist, which means that I follow person-centered and collaborative models of counselling. I believe that the counselling relationship is the most important factor in therapy.

I am trained in Internal Family Systems Therapy, trauma-focused Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Motivational Interviewing, and structured trauma therapy.

What if I can’t make a session?

If you’re sick or isolating, you’re welcome to request we move our session online. If you’re unable to make your appointment then please give me as much notice as you can. If you’re finding that you’re reluctant to come along, let me know how you’re feeling and we’ll work on a solution together.

What’s your social media policy?

I do not discuss clients on any social media (or anywhere else outside of formal supervision!), and will not engage with any clients on social media for their own comfort and safety.

I am an advocate and human being outside of my professional work and it would be incongruent for me to pretend otherwise. I am very clear about my values and politics online as I am throughout my life.

What’s your policy on payment?

For private clients, I invoice after the session through HNRY. You must pay for the previous session before your next one. If you’re in difficulty around payment, let me know sooner rather than later and we can work something out! Please let me know if you are invoicing to another organisation at the time of booking.

If you do not show up for an appointment or cancel without a valid reason within 24 hours,you will be charged for the session at my discretion.

How do you keep yourself professionally safe?

Counselling is an intense profession and I make sure to balance my contact work with clients with other activities and interests. I limit the number of clients I see so that I can give each my full attention.

I receive regular professional supervision, which offers advice and guidance on how to improve my practice. Any cases discussed within supervision do not involve identifying details.

I regularly take part in professional learning and development to strengthen my practice.

What training and qualifications do you have?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Level 1 2025

Internal Family Systems Therapy and Somatic Embodiment (12-week course) 2025

Te Whatu Ora Accredication 2024

Full membership of the New Zealand Association of Counsellors 2024

Trauma-Informed ACT course (6 week course) 2024

Motivational Interviewing (3 day course) 2024

Provisional member New Zealand Association of Counsellors 2022

Bachelor in Applied Counselling - Manukau Institute of Technology 2022

Professional training in disputes resolution and peer supervision - Ministry of Education 2018

Postgraduate Certificate in Digital and Collaborative Learning - Mindlab/Unitec 2015

Postgraduate Certificate in Secondary Education- University of London 2006

Bachelors in Marine and Freshwater Biology- University of Glasgow 2004

What if I want to stop seeing you?

The client-counsellor relationship is the most important factor in counselling being successful. If for any reason you feel like we have finished our work together, or that it’s no longer working for you, you are welcome to end our sessions.

If there’s something that doesn’t feel right that you want to work out with me, then it can be a really useful exercise to work through any conflict together.

Contact

Email address: rosspcounselling@gmail.com

If inquiring as a new client, please include your location, if you’d prefer online or in-person support, and what funding avenue you would like to be referred through.

Phone/text: 0210 664 146

Please note this is a work-only number and is not answered outside of work hours. If you are in crisis please call 111. If you need to talk to someone urgently, call or text 1737 for free, confidential support 24/7.